Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It Doesn't Matter What You Think, It Matters What She Says or Doesn't Say

About a month ago I attended the Take Back the Night march with one of my friends who has been three other times.  And even though we didn’t march because of inclement weather, we did go inside to hear some of the stories of some of the women there.  First, I have to say how strong I thought all of these women were for telling their personal stories of abuse and rape in front of a lot of people.  While it was incredibly heartbreaking to hear these stories, I’m glad that I heard them.  I needed to hear them.  I don’t think you really realize the extent of the problem until you hear about it first hand.  I wish there would have been more guys in attendance because men need to hear these stories as much as woman do.It was a very interesting and powerful experience that I will never forget.  I'm really glad that I ended up going.

I’m also glad that I went because it gave me another wake-up call about how our society treats rape.  Our society tends to make all kinds of excuses for the rapist and doesn’t often give the woman the benefit of the doubt.  We will say things like “Did you see what she was wearing?  She was asking for it” instead of “Why couldn’t that guy resist the temptation?  Does he go around humping advertisements?”  This kind of thing needs to stop.  I don’t care what she was wearing, how much she was flirting with you, or how much you thought she wanted it.  I don’t care what your religion or culture says about what women are supposed to wear or how they are supposed to act.  If she doesn’t explicitly tell that it’s okay for you to have sex with her, then IT’S NOT OKAY TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!!!!!  No means no.  Do I need to repeat myself?  How freakin’ hard is it to ask if she wants it?  I know, it’s not because I do every single time.  If you thought she wanted it even though she said no or didn't have the ability to say anything, then you are a rapist and scum.  When you rape someone, you don’t just assault them physically, you assault them emotionally.  You have just made their life one hundred times more difficult than it was before.  And for what?  An orgasm?  Go watch Jenna Jameson if you want one of those.

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